Wednesday, June 29, 2005

When silence speaks...

It's funny how sometimes silence can speak more than audible words, and even more interesting is how we ignore these "silent words". Some call these body language, but I want to call it, the language of the heart.

For some people, their heart and tongue are next to each other, but for some others, the distance is like a million miles. And these people, with the distant heart and tongue, struggle in their everyday lives to let people know what they feel. I'm beginning to feel that I'm in this category. Sometimes when I reflect on myself, I find myself speaking some stuff that didn't come from my heart. And there are times when I do try to speak from my heart, it comes up all wrong.

To make things worse, the distance of the tongue and the listener's ear is another million miles, and is another million miles from the ear to the heart. Thus, what goes out from a speaker's mouth, might not necessarily arrive correctly in the listener's heart.

What are we to do then? What am I to do?

I'm glad that in times like this, the word of God brings forth wisdom. James 1:19 says: "My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires." This now make greater sense to me. Everyone wants to be understood. Everybody wants their point of view taken. But very few choose to understand. Very few choose to see other's viewpoint first. And honestly, I struggle with this. I'm struggle with pride in my heart. This pride rides on the horse of arrongance, pompousness and lack of love.

But there's a way thru this. If we continue reading James, it says in verse 21: "Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you. " This means that I've got to trust God more than ever. Whether I can understand the situation or not, or "fix" the problem, it's not the main priority. The point that James is trying to make here is "obey God". Obey with whatever knowhow I have of Him. Even when it doesn't make sense. So, in situations where communication fails, I've got to obey God by being "quick to listen, and slow to speak" even when I feel I might have the words of solution to the issue. It's once said that you can't argue someone to the kingdom of God. I now understand that better, and by faith, take that principal to my relationships, that is, "I can't solve problems by merely words". I've got to, even when it doesn't make sense, to trust in God, that even when I have the "right" to say stuff, I should still shut up, and only speak when He asks me too. This, is my struggle.

Reading the lyrics to the song "When you say nothing at all" which was written by Don Schlitz and Paul Overstreet, and performed by Ronan Keating and also Alison Krauss, I really wonder whether I can ever reach to that height of communication in relationships, where words become secondary to express feelings, heart and love. I'm a man of words. But as the bible goes, it convicts my heart to tell me that words alone are not enough. And it will never be. Faith in God is what it takes. Faith that He (God) is in the process of making all things right.

"God, make me a man of few words, and the few words that I speak, may it bring hope and life to those who hears it. If it doesn't, then, shut me up for my own good. Amen."

"When You Say Nothing At All"
by Don Schlitz and Paul Overstreet

It's amazing how you can speak right to my heart
Without saying a word, you can light up the dark
Try as I may, I could never explain
What I hear when you don't say a thing

The smile on your face lets me know that you need me
There's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me
The touch of your hand says you'll catch me wherever I fall
You say it best when you say nothing at all

All day long I can hear people talking out loud
But when you hold me near, you drown out the crowd
Old Mr. Webster could never define
What's being said between your heart and mine

The smile on your face lets me know that you need me
There's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me
The touch of your hand says you'll catch me wherever I fall
You say it best when you say nothing at all

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