It's funny how time can just pass you by like that. I guess sometimes it's interesting in the sense that though we are all in the same time and space continuum, yet, we can experience time differently.
These past few months have left me with new questions of life. It has challenged me to answer for my choices of action and speech. I guess that's important at one point or another. However, even through all the questions, and searching for truths to answer them, yet, above all, one truth remains the same, that God is still on the throne. Now, before you fill your mind with assumptions, let me explain what I'm trying to say.
Let's try with this scenario: Two persons sitting next to each other in a bus stop. The person on the left has just managed to acquire a high-paying job in a reputable company. That's all he has ever dreamt of and wanted. To him, at that point of time, there could be nothing that could top that. Next to him, sits a girl, who has just found out that her boyfriend has cheated on her. He left her after he was bored with her even though she has given everything that she could, to be with him. Here's what I'm trying to say: Same time, same place, and yet, a world of difference in their emotions. Now, let's fast forward this story to the future for say, a couple of weeks. So, two weeks later at the same bus stop, sits the same two people. However, this time, the guy found out that the guy who promised him the job was fired, and never managed to get his appointment letter done before that uneventful day. So, he lost his dream job, even before getting it. And next to him, sits the girl from 2 weeks back. However, things has turned around for her. Her boyfriend has realized his mistake and how much he misses her, and in earnestness and repentance, came back to her and ask her for another chance. Though she is reluctant, but she took the risk to give it a shot, and to her, it was a long awaited sense of relief from the hurt that she was going thru. Again, same place and time, yet their emotions differ by light years apart.
This story could continue, with the guy finding another job, and the girl getting betrayed again, and that's life. There're never any guarantees. Some people say that life's how we make of it. I guess what they mean is that the guy when lost his job could sort of "reassure" himself by saying to himself that there's always other dream jobs, and the girl could say that he don't deserve her. But we know, and time bears testimony to this, that life don't always to turn out the way we want, no matter how sincere our initial motives were, or how "good" we were in carrying out our lives.
But it is in the "hopelessness" of this "cycle of grief" that the awesomeness of God will shine. He is never moved nor shaken by any calamities or tragedies. No matter how terrible our situation maybe, He is still God. He is the God who remains in control. Nothing ever surprises Him. Nothing is too great nor too difficult for Him to handle. And here's the good news: "He is on our side."
And this is my hope. God's still on the throne. He's on my side. I didn't do anything to deserve His support or blessing, but it is in His eternal grace and mercy that I can find a place of refuge that's so secure. He's my tower and refuge, my God in whom I trust.
"Lord, more that just words, I pray that you take my heart and make it yours. In my brokenness, restore me, and let me know, that it is You, and only You, that can ever make me complete. In Jesus' name, Amen."