Here're some excerpts:
- When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
- Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
- When Chuck Norris was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald's because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendy's
- When Chuck Norris talks, everybody listens. And dies.
- If at first you don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris.
- According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.